Mr Kaitastic
by CapitalX
Summary: This awesome story is about Kai Kalabas cool, great and fantastic fanfic. Want to know more? Go read it! By the way, I won't be able to update regularly since my computer recently broke down.


**Hello! **

**I'm Patrick, from the Netherlands. I've been playing CoD for a while now. And I'm, naturally, a huge fan. I ship Osctara…. Hahah naww, just joking, Maltara ftw! I wanted to write a CoD fanfic for some time now, but I didn't know what to write about. Luckily a friend of mine said I should write Kai his fanfic. And since I really like that guy, I started one. I hope you guys like it and have fun reading. **

**Oh and a shout out to BreezyFan and Mozzi-Girl for convincing (forcing) me to start&post my fanfic.**

_**Kablam!**_My car explodes! Waves of fire burst out of the wreckage, while shattered pieces of glass from the windows are being scattered at my feet._ Is there someone who is out to kill me? It could be someone who is jealous of my success.. Or maybe an angry ex who wants to take revenge_…

A dark shape runs around the corner and I quickly run after it._ Do you think you can run away from the great Kalaba?! _Even though I'm dodging the obstacles that he throws in my path, I slowly close in on him. _Okay, I've almost got him.. Hah, sucker! He is running towards a dead end! _

When I finally catch up with him, I see him standing with his back against the wall. He looks startled. "Stay away from me! I've got a gun and I'm not afraid to use it!"

_This guy is almost pissing his pants hahaha! Okay, lets take a look.. Caucasian male, brown hair, looks like he's in his early 20s. Probably just doing this for the money.. There's no way he could pay for the equipment to blow up my car. Which means that someone must be after me! _"Who are you? And why did you destroy my car? It was a brand new Lamborghini! It's very special to me, because I won it during this Surf contest in Hawaii. You should have seen me then, I did this awesome move called 'the pointbreak'. I kinda looked like Andy Irons, but ten times more handsome!"

He shoots you a confused look. "Uh, I don't even know that move. Or the surfer that you're talking about.. Look, I don't know anything! I was just hired. Now back off and let me go. I don't want trouble." His voice shakes with fear.

_Haha! That would explain the wet spot that is growing bigger and bigger by the second down there. _"If you didn't want trouble, I'm afraid you shouldn't have messed with my car. So.. I have just one question; do you know who my teacher was?" I take a few steps towards him and roll up my sleeves.

His eyes widen with fear. "A-a-a s-schoolteacher?" he stutters.

"Nope. My teacher was Bruce Lee!"

2 punches later and the guy is lying face-down to the ground._ Time to handcuff him and take him to the department. But first I have to arrange another ride to get to work. Heh. My life consists of stunning cars, a bunch of hot ladies and things that casually explode.. Now that I think of it, my life is very similar to the life of Tony Stark. I've got pretty much everything he has, except for the flying iron suit... Anyway, lets take a look.. Who to call? Mal? Nah, his car is not fancy enough.. Amy always goes with public transport... Ah, Natara! Perfect. Who doesn't want to spend some time with a hot and sexy chick like her?_

_**Beep…**_

_**Beep, beep…**_

_Come on.. Pick up.. Please don't go to voicemail…_

"Hey Kai!" I finally hear the voice of Natara.

"Yo Nat, my car exploded. Could you pick me up?"

"WHAT?! Exploded?!" she yells out. I keep the phone away from my ear, making sure that the yelling won't make me deaf.

I let out a deep sigh before I interrupt her. "I will explain things later. Just come and get me, please."

"…Of course.. I will be there in five minutes!"

"Good. Oh, by the way, there is another person with me.." I hang up before she's able to respond.

**5 minutes later.** A shiny, black Range Rover stops next to me. The passenger-side window rolls down, to reveal a smiling Natara. "Hey Kai, get in!"

I nod to her, as a sign of appreciation. "Thanks Hottie-boom-bottie." I easily pick up my attacker and throw him in the back of the car before I climb into the passenger seat.

When I do, Natara curiously looks at the man who's lying in the back. "Who's that guy?"

"I don't know who he is, but for some reason he destroyed my precious Lamborghini. Then he ran away, so I chased after him. I caught him. We fought. I won. As always."

She chuckles. "Did you use your Bruce-techniques?"

"Yup. He will be conscious in a hour or so.."

"Okay.. Could you please explain what happened? This is not normal, Kai!"

I observe her while I tell her what happened. _Natara is a really hot girl. I would definitely do her, but yeah there is the bro-code.. And I know Maltara is really bound to happen. So I guess that Natara is off limits. I'm in luck that there are lots of other chicks that would love to be with Mr. Kaitastic. _

"So this guy has been paid to explode your car?" The worry in her voice is clear.

"Yup, that's about it. But there's no need to worry! Super Agent Kalaba has everything under control!"

She flashes you a stunning smile. "Of course he has! He is the best Agent of the department! How could he not be in control? He can do absolutely everything!"

"Not everything, Nat. When I was younger I really wanted to become a drummer, but I wasn't very good at it.."

"Hahaha! What happened next?"

"Is that a serious question? I became a guitar player and all teenage girls were dropping all around my feet! Haha great time that was.."

"I can't blame them, but enough chitchat. We are here!" She looks back, at the handcuffed unconscious guy. "Lets take this guy to an interrogation room.. Uhm.. One with a bed of course.. Couldn't you have taken it slow? He literally peed his pants.."

"Nat, he had a gun. He could have shot me out of fear! Besides, I was up for a little morning exercise." You wink towards her.

She playfully rolls her eyes at you. "Bye Kai! Mal will help you further. I have to work on another case. Oh, I almost forgot.. Is the party still on tonight? I'm really looking forward to it!"

_Oh crap, the party.. I almost forgot about the party that I have to throw in celebration of the first wedding between an alien and a human being. Lt. Anders, who is the one that's getting married, asked me to throw a legendary Kalaba party for him and his soon to be wife, Nora the alien. And even though Nora scares the heebie-jeebies out of me (you should really see its forehead, it is gigantic!) I gladly offered to throw the party. I never turn down a party! I still have to make some last minute preparations, but everything will be fine if this guy wakes up early enough. _"Of course, I couldn't disappoint the Captain, could I? And also who wouldn't want some Piña Kailadas?"

"Great! Uhm.. Is Mal coming as well?" Her cheeks are turning red.

"Of course he is. How could there be a party without 'The Thing'?"

"The Thing? That's someone of the Fantastic Four, right? Will that become his new nickname?"

"Yeah, or something else.. We haven't decided yet actually."

"Oh okay. But I should really go now. Bye Kai!" She waves you goodbye.

"Okay, bye, see ya at the party!" I wave back.

_Suddenly I hear a voice beside me._

"Come on Kai, I already said that I do not want to be called after some brick wall.. So please, don't call me 'The Thing'. Besides, don't you think that the 'Human Torch' fits me more? Since we're both flaming hot…" I choose to ignore him and walk back to the guy who attacked me. Mal notices and quickly walks after you. "You know what? Lets talk over this later. First; back to work. You were attacked by that guy?" The thought of someone attacking me seems to astonish him.

_Malachi Charles Fallon. He's a great cop, but he'll always be the second best, after me. Sometimes I let him solve the case, so he gets a higher paycheck. He's one of my closer friends. Even though he's kind of a geek. You know who the drummer was in the band I played guitar in? Yup, guessed right.. It was this guy._

I shrugh. "I don't know if it was an attack or just a death treat. This guy said that he was only paid to do it. I think that he is speaking the truth, because he just isn't killer material."

"So.. What do you want to do with him?"

_Is this a serious question? What does he think? Play some RPG with him or something? _

"Come on, Malachi. Don't be so ignorant. We need to find out who's out to destroy my beautiful Lamborghini."

**10 minutes later in the interrogation room.**

_Okay, the guy finally is ready for some questions. I should be careful. because he still looks pretty worked up._

"So you have finally woken up.. Did you like my fighting skills?

"I-I won't say anything until my lawyer is here"

"Kid, if you help us, we could help you." Mal interrupts "Do you think that your boss will pay you now that you're in custody? I would be worried if I were you, boy."

_The boy seems to unnerve. He probably understands the severity of the problem he is facing at the moment._

"Okay, okay.. I will talk, but only because I'm in danger"

_Great! That's just what I needed! Okay, time to get to the bottom of this.._

"Thanks. First; what are your name, age and occupation?'

"I'm Axel Mckenzie, 22 years old. I don't have a real job.. Just doing some small jobs here and there. I'll do whatever people need me to do."

"So, Axel.. Tell me something; was destroying my car another one of your small jobs?"

He nods at me. "Yup, a guy said he had some work for me. I simply needed to plant a bomb. Then I needed to detonate it. All supplies would be handed to me and the reward was very big."

_Just need to find out who this mysterious guy is and why he is trying to get me angry.. Believe me, Mr. Kaitastic is not pleasant when he is angry!_

"Yeah uhm, that sounds good and all, but you know that I'm the best detective in the state, right? You would have never escaped.. It was kinda stupid to accept this job, if you ask me."

"Oh burn! Go Kai!" Mal yells, thus encouraging you.

"You think I don't know that?!" Axel asks angrily. "When I heard I had to destroy your car, I really wanted to quit. But they were going to kill me if I didn't do it. So I really didn't have a much of a choice!"

_I kinda feel sorry for Axel he got in some serious trouble because of this, while he actually seems like a really cool guy where you could drink a beer with! Or I could play some really cool video games with him.. That reminds me, I still need a Luigi for my Super mario WIIU…_

"Hey Axel could you maybe tell us who the guy was who gave you the assignment?" Mal asks while you were deep in your own thoughts.

"No.. He didn't say his name and he was wearing a big brown coat. I could only see his eyes and hands."

"So nothing that stood out as peculiar?"

"Oh! I suddenly remembered that the guy was missing one of his fingers!" Axel is clearly glad he memorized something.

_Of course he is glad, but how could it help me..? A person without a finger... It could be my friend Da Silva. He is missing his pinky... Nah, that dude wouldn't do that.. He is Da Silva Surfer after all! It must be someone else. But who? I don't know.. Which finger was he missing anyway? _

"Kid, thanks for your help." Mal says, "You will be brought to a cell. You will hear from us, and your cooperation will be rewarded. "

_It must be someone I don't know then.. Or someone who just recently lost his finger, maybe while fighting alligators!_

"So K.K., do you have any idea who this long coated person without finger could be?" Mal asks.

"Nope, but let Amy search her database on persons who are missing a finger and who has a motive to hate me. I don't think it will work, but we won't get any further now either.."

"Okido, I'll do that right away! Do you need something else?"

"Nah, I think we should call it a day. We are near a death end and I should do some last minutes preparation for the party!"

_Yup, I should really buy some more drinks. Especially for my favorite drink the _Piña Kailadas_!_

"Fine then, I will call Amy."

_Pretty awesome that I'm gonna part,y while some lunatic is trying to kill me! I'm just that awesome! _

"Amy, great, thanks for your help" Mal hangs up. "Everything is being taken care off! High-five pal!"

"Thanks Mal! I will see you at the party right? See ya later!"

"Of course! Bye!"


End file.
